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Archive for October, 2008

it takes time to post

It has been months since I have posted – but that is what happens when one thinks slowly.

For three months I have nothing that I had to think about.  Three months of day-by-day life, no job, no projects to be completed, no deadlines to meet – and for much of that time, solitude.

And what is there to show for it?  Well – nothing really.  But yet a lot.  Things have slowed down, there was time to complete thoughts, and time to be surprised by thought.

But more than all that,  there has been time to dis-engage from the things that fill  my life, time to let those things drift.  Time to re-discover some of the things that have always mattered to me, yet have become marginal to my life –  and to begin to imagine how I could live my life true to those things.

Since I read the ‘Club of Rome’ report in the 1970s I have expected doom and gloom, social and environmental apocalypse.  Rather than retreat to the hills, or become a hippie, I have pursued a professional life, presented as a classic middle-class person…but alongside that, learnt to spin and weave (wheel and loom now gone), grown food, and wanted to  ensure that I had the means/skills to survive, with my loved ones, should things fall apart.

And now the world is looking more and more fragile – and I am recalled to where I started.  Local sustainable means of production, especially of food.

I am back home with lots of ideas, and a new set of priorities –  to become more skilled at saving seeds,  to find ways to make our block of land more economically productive, and to find ways to work with other small-block owners so that farming can be productive in New Zealand without needing to get to the massive scale of so many of our farms.  The walnut orchard is great, and growing, but it will be a few years yet before it produces income flow, so I need to find some additional approaches…

The challenge will be to sustain this focus, when I am also very aware of the need to generate an income flow, and a professional job is the most effective way to do so…But such jobs can so easily become all absorbing, and take the focus from what really matters…

Is it possible to sustain a slow-thinking clarity about life and what matters, while also working at a demanding job? or does the job become the thing against which all else is prioritised?  Time will tell…

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